Julie and Julia

i liked the movie. meryl streep is the star in there. she resonated the character so well. images from the movie continue to flash in me; of course all cooking scenes, ingredients; from the juicy red beef slices to the rich chocolate oozing out of the ladle to the fish cooked in butter (this image makes me heady). i checked out beef bourguignon recipe but it's not an easy one. so i'll keep it for later. never ever now...i may come off on my hugely swollen feet with just the third or fourth step done.

yes, it's a famously deranged project that julie powell gets on with. but it gives her the sense of purpose that eluded her at an insecure age when she felt trapped in a boring job. but i was thinking: julia doesn't have kids; julie doesn't have any. i would like to watch a mom embarking on a project like this. i'm sure it can happen only in a movie. streep echoes the agony of a baby-less woman closely and accurately. i'd rather have kids and not become so famous. this is not a self-comforting statement.

my girl had a fall last night from the cot and hit her head. it was not bad but the hind part of the head is dicey. i took her to the doc today and nothing to worry. but when she fell and cried i experienced what i've only churned out in words; my knees went weak. i could forget everything; my career, the frustrations, my course, my ambitions, my kitchen and cutlery and herb bouquet, my baking and lemon zest and the red cherries in the can i'm waiting to transform into celedura, my blog. i could sacrifice anything for the safety of my child.....so emo a passage? ah well, you got to be a mother...then you know there's nothing more real than what i wrote above.